Wednesday, 10 December 2008

Seems a little unfair

Describe your life in six words

These are taken from an exhibition on at Foyles at the moment. The nicest thing about it is you get to write your own amongst the other artists. Here's a taster:

Wednesday, 3 December 2008

Community Matters

This has been going on in Waitrose for the past few months. They're donating money to various charities and you get to vote for which charity gets it with a little green token. Each time there's three charities to choose from and they've tended to be two people related and one farming/animal one. What's fascinating is that you can see who's in the lead, who's eliciting more sympathy, and finally who wins. Interesting exercise. (For those who are really curious, whoever's in the lead tends to stay the same throughout. So who's winning at the start invariably is the winner at the end.)

It's changed 3 times since starting and it's suddenly got much more interesting. The last two lots everyone pretty much voted for the people charities, which covered Mental Health, Shelters and Family Support. The farms and animals barely got a look in. But this time it's different. The current choices are sick animals, drama for kids and raising money for safer playgrounds. And those poor animals are by far and away in the lead.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for helping out those limping cats and dogs, but still for me, children come first. So why the sudden shift for everyone else? Is it because they've voted against the animals for the past few months and they think it's about time they got behind them? If so, that's pretty unlucky for the children's charities. I wonder if it'll continue..

Giant's Lego

Thursday, 27 November 2008

We need to talk about Kevin

There's this homeless guy called Kevin who I sometimes see sleeping rough on Holloway road. The other day he was asking passers by for a can of pop. After speaking to him to find out what he wanted, I established what he really wanted was food, so we went to get some chips. On the way, I asked how he was and this is the conversation that followed:

I'm really down. In fact, more down than I have been in years. I had a cry last night. Haven't done that for a long time. Quite embarrassing really.

What were you crying about? I asked.

Well, I met up with a friend last night. It's so shit. She's got back with this bloke she should never have taken back. He's a real bastard - in and out of prison. And he beats her. Properly beats her. I really believed that the last time she left him, it would finally be the last time she'd go back to him.

I just don't know if I can cope with picking up the pieces again. Cos I know that I'm gonna have to, it's just a question of how long it's gonna be this time round.

After commenting on this, I then said: But, what about YOU? Why are YOU where YOU are?

Pretty memorable. Here's a guy who has nothing, lives on the streets, is in a terrible situation, and he's busy worrying about someone else. Crazy.

Pine cone pasta sauce

Monday, 17 November 2008

Disco Demon

This terrifying piece of machinery stretched back way beyond what you can see here. And tucked behind its grill were four little orange lights, which flashed intermittently - creating a kind of secret disco hidden deep inside the belly of some crazed monster. I'm sure you won't blame me for giving the party a miss on this particular occasion..

Now regular contributor James, spotted this one in Salford. Either the words where in themselves too profound, or too profane to sully our innocent ears with their contents. Suggestions more than welcome...

As a sad aside, the balloon shop's closed down! Oh, the disappointment.

Thursday, 13 November 2008

Wednesday, 12 November 2008

The view outside my window

Two sets of stairs. And where they lead, noboby knows...

My walk to work gets a thorough examination

Nice to know that I'm not the only one fascinated by these streets...

Thursday, 6 November 2008

I love this shop

I walk pass it every morning and am inexhaustibly amused by the thought that, if I felt like it, I could walk out with a balloon emblazoned with whatsoever took my fancy - and instantly. One day I will. And I've decided that it'll say whatever thought I happen to have when I pass it - now I'm just waiting on a good one. So far I have:

I should have had breakfast this morning
That dog looks like my sister's
Oh no, that man's still got stickers on the bottom of his shoes. Should I tell him? ... No, I won't bother.

I'll let you know how it pans out...

Tuesday, 4 November 2008

Turner Prize comments board

I'm always entertained by the egg throwing that covers the walls outside the Turner Prize. But this time, I discovered this little missive hidden amongst all the hate mail. And I can't tell you how much it made it all the more touching.






They might not look like a festival, but they sure did taste like one.
And they gave me tummy ache afterwards.

Friday, 31 October 2008

Happy Halloween

This very dark photo captures a small part of a glorious setup someone has created in a sort of gated porch by their house. The bubbling cauldron is watched over by a green-wigged witch, complete with hooting, howls and spine-chilling cackles.

Thursday, 30 October 2008

Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Tuesday, 28 October 2008

Open-Air Gym

I've never understood the appeal of gyms. Why do we need running machines? What's wrong with running outdoors? Is there some benefit to being squished together amongst other sweaty, groaning fanatics that I remain ignorant of, having never become a member of any of these illustrious organisations?

As you may have guessed, exercise bikes baffle me even more. But for the first time in my life, seeing this dumped collection, I was tempted to hop on and give them all a try.

Guest Appearance V

Cheers, James. An absolute classic. We always need to be warned of danger, don't we.

Monday, 20 October 2008

Kindergarten Carnage Averted

These glorious grim reaper scythes are available in Sainsburys. Grab em while stocks last...

Friday, 17 October 2008

These three collectively read:


It's good to be informed of such things, wouldn't you agree.

Tuesday, 14 October 2008

Her Majesty's Police Force

At around midnight on Sunday night I approached a couple of policemen on a quiet street. There was a man leaning out of a window four floors above them. This was the conversation that followed:

Police: All right mate?

Man: Uuuuurrhhhhhh....(followed by something unintelligible)

Police: Did you call the police earlier? At about three in the afternoon?

Three in the afternoon? And it's midnight?

Man: Uuuuuhh...

At this point I realised he'd just been woken up, hence his slurred, sleep-filled speech.

Man: Err.. yes.

Police: Can we come up, mate?

Man: Errrrr....

Police: Sorry...It's a bit late.

Man: (gathering his wits a little) Yeah...It is late.

Police: We could come back tomorrow...?

Man: Yeah. That would be better.

Police: Okay. So long as there's no-one dead or dying up there?

What were the chances he'd put his hands up and say: Yes. I've committed bloody murder, you'd better come on up.

Man: Oh, no no. Nothing like that.

Police: Ha ha. Ok, but we will be back tomorrow.

The police, satisfied with their arrangement left him to it. Which I'm guessing was either go back to sleep or to begin rapidly burying a body in the back garden.

Monday, 13 October 2008

Abandoned station

After managing to squeeze myself into a North London jungle, I found this old station hiding amongst ivy and brambles. I hung about for a while, but it soon became overwhelmingly ghostly as announcements from the tube station beneath came floating up onto the empty platform.

Wednesday, 8 October 2008

Safety instructions - you gotta love em.