Guest Appearance IV

I take my hat off to my sister for this one. It's really quite something. Taken in Devon. Well, it would be, wouldn't it.

Thank god

I'm sure everyone's extremely relieved to hear that this platform poster won't be empty forever. Advertising is always dearly missed, isn't it. But how long must we wait? Surely we deserve some sort of time scale.

Guest Appearance III

Thanks to Lucy for this double whammy.

Presents

Some people are gifted at choosing good presents. Others seems to completely lack the required empathy to pick out something suitable. It was the latter that I witnessed the other week at my local. A man and a woman (relationship unknown, in their mid-thirties) were at the table next to me. Soon after she'd arrived, she pulled out a large bag and, with a flourish, handed over a brightly wrapped parcel. Inside was a box clearly containing medication of some kind. It's reveal was followed by a confused silence from the man.

"It's for your bones!"

Seizing the packet, she waved it about.

"It's really good for them, makes them stronger and all that."

Clearly from his reaction, he has no issues with his bones, has no family history of it, and has no idea why he should be being given them. My attention now irretrievably caught, I watched the next present opening. Cigars. Relatively sensible. Chocolate. Even more sensible. Then the last one. It was a small piece of cloth, made of fleece. He turned it over in his hands a little, trying to establish was it was. Then the giver snatched it from him and pulled it over her head.

"It's a snood! You wear it when you're sailing."

After a short pause, he replied

"Great. Well, if I ever go sailing, then I'll be nice and warm, won't I."

I'm afraid I missed what was on the card, so you'll have to imagine that for yourselves.

Leave me alone

People never cease to amaze me. And these two suits were particularly adept at it. Most people don't like sharing seats with strangers, as empty spaces on buses and the tube daily prove. And I suppose a park bench is an even more intimate location. But surely, just sitting at opposite ends and separately enjoying your lunch creates an adequate amount of distance. You don't need to have your back turned as well. And put yourself in a such an uncomfortable position that your knees are pressed against the end of the bench. I wouldn't be surprised if his bad posture gave rise to indigestion not too long afterwards..