Presents

Some people are gifted at choosing good presents. Others seems to completely lack the required empathy to pick out something suitable. It was the latter that I witnessed the other week at my local. A man and a woman (relationship unknown, in their mid-thirties) were at the table next to me. Soon after she'd arrived, she pulled out a large bag and, with a flourish, handed over a brightly wrapped parcel. Inside was a box clearly containing medication of some kind. It's reveal was followed by a confused silence from the man.

"It's for your bones!"

Seizing the packet, she waved it about.

"It's really good for them, makes them stronger and all that."

Clearly from his reaction, he has no issues with his bones, has no family history of it, and has no idea why he should be being given them. My attention now irretrievably caught, I watched the next present opening. Cigars. Relatively sensible. Chocolate. Even more sensible. Then the last one. It was a small piece of cloth, made of fleece. He turned it over in his hands a little, trying to establish was it was. Then the giver snatched it from him and pulled it over her head.

"It's a snood! You wear it when you're sailing."

After a short pause, he replied

"Great. Well, if I ever go sailing, then I'll be nice and warm, won't I."

I'm afraid I missed what was on the card, so you'll have to imagine that for yourselves.