Now that's odd

Double Yellow

2009-04-20T09:42:00.001Z

Street Collage

2009-04-20T09:41:00.000Z

Lovely arrangement

2009-04-14T09:14:00.002Z

All the front doors were similar on this east London street, each in varying formations. And why not?

2009-04-14T09:13:00.004Z

2009-04-14T09:13:00.003Z

Poster paint mayonnaise

2009-04-09T15:47:00.000Z

One bench just wasn't enough

2009-03-31T16:22:00.003Z

Stumbled across this star-shaped seat at the weekend, comfortably plumped on a hillside.

Look left, look right...

2009-03-31T16:14:00.003Z

Saw this beautiful piece of workmanship in a school playground in Richmond. There's even a greengrocers. Fantastic.

2009-03-20T17:35:00.000Z

Floating number four

2009-03-19T10:32:00.002Z

Cat camping

2009-03-19T10:29:00.001Z

Labelling

2009-03-10T15:13:00.005Z

Settling?
And why do we need to know this?
Printed on the back of a Marks and Sparks packet of crisps

Games to play by a canal

2009-03-10T14:35:00.002Z

This kept me entertained for about an hour. The kids hanging out by this wall had invented an ingenious game: they were deliberately dropping their football down onto the canal path, then very convincingly, pleading with whoever was walking past to chuck it back up to them. Each person who did, was clearly delighted to have helped out. But, as soon as the kind soul who'd lent a hand was out of sight, they 'accidentally' dropped it again. I think it was the acting, and the taking advantage of other people's generosity that appealed. It sadly backfired later on, because one member of a group they dropped the ball on, hoofed it into the canal. Guess they'd fallen for it before...

Canal side security measure

2009-03-10T14:16:00.003Z

Perhaps they're worried about piracy?

Skater park

2009-03-09T10:31:00.001Z

Snap!

2009-03-02T11:00:00.002Z

2009-03-02T11:00:00.001Z

No smoke stacks?

An audience with ....... nobody

2009-03-02T10:57:00.001Z

No buses. Ever.

2009-03-02T10:56:00.000Z

Guest Appearance VII

2009-03-02T10:55:00.000Z

Thanks very much to Ben for this one, it's a real corker.

Rubbish dominoes

2009-03-02T10:54:00.000Z

Downsizing is spreading

2009-03-02T10:48:00.001Z

2009-03-02T10:44:00.002Z

It might be just me, but I find something rather terrifying final in the words: 'for good'.

Found by the printer at work...

2009-02-19T15:20:00.001Z

Invisible work man

2009-02-17T11:02:00.001Z

Street Art III

2009-02-16T10:36:00.000Z

Will it get there, I wonder?

2009-02-16T10:21:00.002Z

Seeing as they've missed off the post code, I'm not too optimistic...

Just so it's clear

2009-02-11T16:25:00.001Z

Sleeping in the snow

2009-02-03T10:20:00.001Z

White Elephant

2009-02-03T10:19:00.000Z

The Roadworks Circus has come to town

2009-01-30T15:37:00.004Z

Pussy in the window

2009-01-29T11:51:00.005Z

My immediate thoughts when seeing this were: Why beware of the pussy? He looks friendly enough. He's even waving repeatedly at me.

Then I walked past the next window and realised it must be referring to this, more demonic looking feline. Frightening.

Front Garden Sculpture

2009-01-26T10:12:00.000Z

Front Path

2009-01-22T10:07:00.002Z

Decorative steel bars

2009-01-22T10:06:00.000Z

New Word

2009-01-19T16:20:00.003Z

Although the context helped me guess its meaning, I've never heard of this 'curtilage' before in my life. Made me wonder whether the intention was somewhere on the lines of:

And if you're too ignorant to know this word, perhaps you should think about joining the library?

Unexpected bookmark

2009-01-15T16:09:00.002Z

I found this lovely old book lying, mislaid at a bus stop yesterday. After picking it up, I had a quick flick and the first page I came to contained the following:

Sounds cosy

2009-01-14T10:18:00.000Z

2009-01-09T16:55:00.002Z

On the frozen over canal the other day, the ducks found themselves skating amongst various items that would normally have disappeared underwater during the night. There was the obligatory trolley, a semi-submerged suitcase on wheels and this slightly mangled hoover. Quite a collection.

Final piece of the jigsaw

2009-01-05T10:36:00.000Z

Probably caused tears/tantrums/excruciating disappointment somewhere nearby, I imagine.
Shame.

A play within a play

2009-01-03T16:52:00.001Z

I went to Harold Pinter’s No Man’s Land the other day, and overheard the following conversation in the foyer during half time.

A couple, relationship hard to establish, mid-thirties, well dressed:

Woman: So, what did you make of the first half?

Long pause.

Man: It was ..… strange...

Long pause.

Man wanders across to other side of the foyer. Stands there for a short while doing nothing in particular.

Woman: (muttering under her breath) It was … strange….?

Man wanders back.

Another long, awkward pause.

Man: This is a good place to stand.

Woman: Yes, it is a good place to stand.

Further pause.

Man: Yes. It is. This, is a good place to stand.

Woman: Yes. Here is a good place to stand.

Further pause.

Man: Hmm. Yes. It’s a good place to stand.

Further, even more painful pause.

Man: Shall we go back to our seats now?

Both wander off.

I certainly didn’t expect to see more Pinter in the interval I can tell you. Good stuff.

No longer lonely

2009-01-02T10:22:00.004Z

This Corona bottle has been perched high on this wall since before Christmas. I've walked past it every day, each time wondering whether I'll be disappointed to see it'd wandered off. So today, I was really very happy to see it's made a friend. I hope they got to see the new year in together.

Heaven and Hell?

2008-12-30T10:18:00.000Z

Off-street Parking

2008-12-29T11:10:00.001Z

Neat arrangement

2008-12-29T11:09:00.001Z

2008-12-26T11:08:00.000Z

Turnip Mountain

2008-12-24T11:07:00.000Z

Essay about walking

2008-12-18T11:05:00.000Z

Disembodied Tree

2008-12-15T11:04:00.000Z

Seems a little unfair

2008-12-10T11:02:00.001Z

Describe your life in six words

2008-12-10T10:54:00.000Z

These are taken from an exhibition on at Foyles at the moment. The nicest thing about it is you get to write your own amongst the other artists. Here's a taster:

Untitled 2008. Media: Railings and a shoelace

2008-12-08T12:09:00.001Z

Community Matters

2008-12-03T10:39:00.003Z

This has been going on in Waitrose for the past few months. They're donating money to various charities and you get to vote for which charity gets it with a little green token. Each time there's three charities to choose from and they've tended to be two people related and one farming/animal one. What's fascinating is that you can see who's in the lead, who's eliciting more sympathy, and finally who wins. Interesting exercise. (For those who are really curious, whoever's in the lead tends to stay the same throughout. So who's winning at the start invariably is the winner at the end.)

It's changed 3 times since starting and it's suddenly got much more interesting. The last two lots everyone pretty much voted for the people charities, which covered Mental Health, Shelters and Family Support. The farms and animals barely got a look in. But this time it's different. The current choices are sick animals, drama for kids and raising money for safer playgrounds. And those poor animals are by far and away in the lead.

Now, don't get me wrong, I'm all for helping out those limping cats and dogs, but still for me, children come first. So why the sudden shift for everyone else? Is it because they've voted against the animals for the past few months and they think it's about time they got behind them? If so, that's pretty unlucky for the children's charities. I wonder if it'll continue..

Giant's Lego

2008-12-03T10:17:00.000Z

We need to talk about Kevin

2008-11-27T12:31:00.003Z

There's this homeless guy called Kevin who I sometimes see sleeping rough on Holloway road. The other day he was asking passers by for a can of pop. After speaking to him to find out what he wanted, I established what he really wanted was food, so we went to get some chips. On the way, I asked how he was and this is the conversation that followed:

I'm really down. In fact, more down than I have been in years. I had a cry last night. Haven't done that for a long time. Quite embarrassing really.

What were you crying about? I asked.

Well, I met up with a friend last night. It's so shit. She's got back with this bloke she should never have taken back. He's a real bastard - in and out of prison. And he beats her. Properly beats her. I really believed that the last time she left him, it would finally be the last time she'd go back to him.

I just don't know if I can cope with picking up the pieces again. Cos I know that I'm gonna have to, it's just a question of how long it's gonna be this time round.

After commenting on this, I then said: But, what about YOU? Why are YOU where YOU are?

Pretty memorable. Here's a guy who has nothing, lives on the streets, is in a terrible situation, and he's busy worrying about someone else. Crazy.

Pine cone pasta sauce

2008-11-27T10:51:00.001Z

Disco Demon

2008-11-17T10:14:00.008Z

This terrifying piece of machinery stretched back way beyond what you can see here. And tucked behind its grill were four little orange lights, which flashed intermittently - creating a kind of secret disco hidden deep inside the belly of some crazed monster. I'm sure you won't blame me for giving the party a miss on this particular occasion..

2008-11-17T10:14:00.004Z

Now regular contributor James, spotted this one in Salford. Either the words where in themselves too profound, or too profane to sully our innocent ears with their contents. Suggestions more than welcome...

As a sad aside, the balloon shop's closed down! Oh, the disappointment.

Guest Appearance VI

2008-11-13T11:49:00.002Z

Cheers to Cake Carlene.

The view outside my window

2008-11-12T16:48:00.002Z

Two sets of stairs. And where they lead, noboby knows...

My walk to work gets a thorough examination

2008-11-12T16:46:00.001Z

Nice to know that I'm not the only one fascinated by these streets...

I love this shop

2008-11-06T10:13:00.004Z

I walk pass it every morning and am inexhaustibly amused by the thought that, if I felt like it, I could walk out with a balloon emblazoned with whatsoever took my fancy - and instantly. One day I will. And I've decided that it'll say whatever thought I happen to have when I pass it - now I'm just waiting on a good one. So far I have:

I should have had breakfast this morning
That dog looks like my sister's
and
Oh no, that man's still got stickers on the bottom of his shoes. Should I tell him? ... No, I won't bother.

I'll let you know how it pans out...

Turner Prize comments board

2008-11-04T10:51:00.003Z

I'm always entertained by the egg throwing that covers the walls outside the Turner Prize. But this time, I discovered this little missive hidden amongst all the hate mail. And I can't tell you how much it made it all the more touching.

Hi EMILY

WHAT DID YOU THINK?

I STILL THINK ABOUT YOU EVERYDAY.

X

Festivals

2008-11-04T10:42:00.001Z

They might not look like a festival, but they sure did taste like one.
And they gave me tummy ache afterwards.

Motivational Monday Morning Message

2008-11-03T10:17:00.001Z

The Spoils of Halloween

2008-11-03T10:16:00.003Z

Happy Halloween

2008-10-31T14:36:00.002Z

This very dark photo captures a small part of a glorious setup someone has created in a sort of gated porch by their house. The bubbling cauldron is watched over by a green-wigged witch, complete with hooting, howls and spine-chilling cackles.

Emerging Cornish Artist

2008-10-30T14:40:00.001Z

Cheers again, James.

Lovely sign off

2008-10-29T14:08:00.001Z

For goodness sake!

2008-10-29T14:07:00.001Z

There's stating the obvious and there's stating the obvious..

Open-Air Gym

2008-10-28T17:16:00.005Z

I've never understood the appeal of gyms. Why do we need running machines? What's wrong with running outdoors? Is there some benefit to being squished together amongst other sweaty, groaning fanatics that I remain ignorant of, having never become a member of any of these illustrious organisations?

As you may have guessed, exercise bikes baffle me even more. But for the first time in my life, seeing this dumped collection, I was tempted to hop on and give them all a try.

Guest Appearance V

2008-10-28T11:12:00.002Z

Cheers, James. An absolute classic. We always need to be warned of danger, don't we.

Good to know II

2008-10-27T17:37:00.000Z

Transport on Transport

2008-10-27T10:30:00.001Z

2008-10-21T14:24:00.000Z

Kindergarten Carnage Averted

2008-10-20T09:49:00.001Z

These glorious grim reaper scythes are available in Sainsburys. Grab em while stocks last...

2008-10-17T11:20:00.003Z

These three collectively read:

BRIDGEMAN ROAD
Formally
LOFTING ROAD

It's good to be informed of such things, wouldn't you agree.

Pop up

2008-10-16T13:32:00.000Z

2008-10-15T09:16:00.000Z

Her Majesty's Police Force

2008-10-14T09:22:00.004Z

At around midnight on Sunday night I approached a couple of policemen on a quiet street. There was a man leaning out of a window four floors above them. This was the conversation that followed:

Police: All right mate?

Man: Uuuuurrhhhhhh....(followed by something unintelligible)

Police: Did you call the police earlier? At about three in the afternoon?

Three in the afternoon? And it's midnight?

Man: Uuuuuhh...

At this point I realised he'd just been woken up, hence his slurred, sleep-filled speech.

Man: Err.. yes.

Police: Can we come up, mate?

Man: Errrrr....

Police: Sorry...It's a bit late.

Man: (gathering his wits a little) Yeah...It is late.

Police: We could come back tomorrow...?

Man: Yeah. That would be better.

Police: Okay. So long as there's no-one dead or dying up there?

What were the chances he'd put his hands up and say: Yes. I've committed bloody murder, you'd better come on up.

Man: Oh, no no. Nothing like that.

Police: Ha ha. Ok, but we will be back tomorrow.

The police, satisfied with their arrangement left him to it. Which I'm guessing was either go back to sleep or to begin rapidly burying a body in the back garden.

Abandoned station

2008-10-13T09:30:00.009Z

After managing to squeeze myself into a North London jungle, I found this old station hiding amongst ivy and brambles. I hung about for a while, but it soon became overwhelmingly ghostly as announcements from the tube station beneath came floating up onto the empty platform.

Miniature Huskies

2008-10-12T09:27:00.000Z

Street Art III

2008-10-09T10:56:00.000Z

2008-10-08T09:47:00.001Z

Safety instructions - you gotta love em.

Opposites

2008-10-08T09:46:00.000Z

2008-10-07T11:17:00.001Z

2008-10-07T11:16:00.005Z

Looking inside a tomb at Montmartre cemetery, this was the last thing I expected to be there. Wonder if it's ever been used?

2008-09-30T17:00:00.000Z

Soundtrack to Soho

2008-09-27T11:30:00.004Z

As I walked down Wardour street with a friend of mine the other afternoon, we were commenting on the delights of this pleasantly grimy underbelly of London. As we did so, a tramp fell in step behind us and we were treated to the following:

Aeerrgguuuhhh…… aarrrruuuggguuhhh….
HEEELLOOOOOOH! HEEELLOOOH!
BOOOOOOOYYS!
(some stumbling)
Bouuys… bouuys….
HEELLLOOOOH!
Girrlls….. Giiieerrrrllss….

This continued with us til the end of the street, for which we obviously slowed down in order to gain the full effect. On the way back into Soho, we crossed Cambridge Circus as crowds flowed out of a Monty Python show. My friend said how disappointed was that we’d missed it. And as he did, a man pedalling an empty pedalo suddenly swung into action and cut through the melee. The reason for his speedy exit became immediately apparent when we saw another tramp standing in the empty space left behind. He propelled himself forwards, and hurled the word CUUUNT! Such was the volume, a considerable amount spit followed this fantastic piece of eloquence.

My friend and I agreed that we certainly weren’t sorry to have missed The Flying Circus.

Try this one at home

2008-09-26T16:50:00.002Z

This photo doesn't do it justice, so you'll have to try it yourself.
If you happen to have a light box anywhere nearby, put your mobile phone on it and switch the camera on.
Facinating results.

Street Art II

2008-09-26T16:33:00.006Z

It was the first morning for months that I noticed my breath as I left for work this morning. On the walk in, most of the parked cars's windows were covered in condensation - and someone had decided to take full advantage of the situation.
The results are below. Either they became more rushed as it went on, or they grew as an artist, becoming more of an abstractionist by the road's end.

Good to know

2008-09-24T16:42:00.000Z

2008-09-22T14:39:00.000Z

2008-09-17T16:52:00.004Z

I'd no idea the economic downturn had got this bad.

2008-09-15T09:40:00.003Z

There are dark shadows on the earth but its lights are stronger in the contrast. Some men, like bats or owls, have better eyes for the darkness than for the light. We who have no such optical powers are better pleased to take our last parting look at the visionary companions of many solitary hours, when the brief sunshine of the world is blazing full upon them.

Charles Dickens.

2008-09-15T09:26:00.003Z

The day I decide to take my first trip to Bermondsey just happened to be the same day as their summer party. It was a gloriously typical English village fete, complete with cakes, bad juggling, little girls in frocks and a dog show.
At lunchtime came the fashion show, with running dialogue from a camp presenter in a Moroccan dressing gown.

These London village fetes are just a little bit different to the ones I get back home.

2008-09-14T09:48:00.000Z

2008-09-12T15:50:00.005Z

I have a pretty healthy attitude towards death, although working at a funeral parlour would certainly be beyond me. But saying that, I love that most of them have clocks up in their windows. Clearly they have a brilliantly healthy, sick sense of humour. I'm sure you'll agree that it's a really touching reminder that they, and time, will get us all in the end.

Big Issue Salesman

2008-09-09T09:50:00.000Z

This gentleman was, unsurprisingly, failing to solicit sympathy from anyone passing by. Not that it's a must to wear threads that barely hold themselves together, but surely he could at least dress down a little for the affair.

2008-09-08T09:50:00.001Z

This is about a tenth of an impressively obsessive seashells collection.